Laugh!? We all fell off our corporate chair!
Once again I have become the object of derision amongst family and friends and the cause of mirth for any stranger passing.
Yes, dear ones, I am like a letter publicly read by all. Now, I share myself with the virtual world.
We all know that topping up the water in your flower vases is not a straightforward affair. It’s so easy to find the life-giving liquid dribbling down the side of the container, or directing itself along the leaves and pooling on the newly polished tabletop and eventually cascading to the floor.
And so it was that I found myself amongst the Longiflora Lilies. Moving in closely to avoid overspill, I directed the jug to the best possible spot. I carried with me the cloth of mopping (at the same time working the said cloth of mopping into a state of redundancy by my careful orchestration of jug, vase, flowers and water.)
Not a drop, ladies and gentlemen, not a single drop went anywhere but into the vase!
Oh the ecstasy! The outpouring of self-congratulation as I stood back to admire the work of my hands! See the dryness of tabletop and floor! Feel the cloth of mopping unused and available for future and immediate use (by one, no doubt less careful than myself.) Sense the joy of thirsty stems reborn through water, oh my word! Anticipate with mounting excitement the approbation of the lovely wife as she realizes that man is capable of such homely activity as topping up the flowers!
And so we fast forward to the following morning.
Hair washed and body prepared for the new day, our heroic bloom dowser casts a critical eye over his morning’s toilet before unleashing himself upon the world.
What is this he sees?
Has his hair – previously silvered by the ravages of time – been touched miraculously in the night? What are these strange and wonderful straw-like tints? How now the move from aging man-about-town to blond bombshell? Is this a “Stars in their eyes” home production?
“Yes, Matthew, tonight I am going to be…STING!”
Nope. It’s simply a case of pride coming before the fall. Getting close up and personal with Longiflora means coming into close proximity to some of the most powerful pollen known to man. Witness the bright yellow of its hue! Experience now for yourself the tenacity with which it bonds to any passing scalp! Behold the new man.
Oh brave new world that hath such creatures in it.
There’s a lesson in here somewhere waiting to get out. More later.
Once again I have become the object of derision amongst family and friends and the cause of mirth for any stranger passing.
Yes, dear ones, I am like a letter publicly read by all. Now, I share myself with the virtual world.
We all know that topping up the water in your flower vases is not a straightforward affair. It’s so easy to find the life-giving liquid dribbling down the side of the container, or directing itself along the leaves and pooling on the newly polished tabletop and eventually cascading to the floor.
And so it was that I found myself amongst the Longiflora Lilies. Moving in closely to avoid overspill, I directed the jug to the best possible spot. I carried with me the cloth of mopping (at the same time working the said cloth of mopping into a state of redundancy by my careful orchestration of jug, vase, flowers and water.)
Not a drop, ladies and gentlemen, not a single drop went anywhere but into the vase!
Oh the ecstasy! The outpouring of self-congratulation as I stood back to admire the work of my hands! See the dryness of tabletop and floor! Feel the cloth of mopping unused and available for future and immediate use (by one, no doubt less careful than myself.) Sense the joy of thirsty stems reborn through water, oh my word! Anticipate with mounting excitement the approbation of the lovely wife as she realizes that man is capable of such homely activity as topping up the flowers!
And so we fast forward to the following morning.
Hair washed and body prepared for the new day, our heroic bloom dowser casts a critical eye over his morning’s toilet before unleashing himself upon the world.
What is this he sees?
Has his hair – previously silvered by the ravages of time – been touched miraculously in the night? What are these strange and wonderful straw-like tints? How now the move from aging man-about-town to blond bombshell? Is this a “Stars in their eyes” home production?
“Yes, Matthew, tonight I am going to be…STING!”
Nope. It’s simply a case of pride coming before the fall. Getting close up and personal with Longiflora means coming into close proximity to some of the most powerful pollen known to man. Witness the bright yellow of its hue! Experience now for yourself the tenacity with which it bonds to any passing scalp! Behold the new man.
Oh brave new world that hath such creatures in it.
There’s a lesson in here somewhere waiting to get out. More later.
Love
The Artist Formerly Known as Pete
